Old

It has happened. The moment of self evaluation has arrived and I am convinced without a doubt that I am now, as of yesterday, officially and unarguably....old.

Typically this realization comes with a massive flip of the birthday odometer...where all the 9's line up and then BAM! You're into the next group of hundred-thousands. However, I have recently passed one of these age mile markers with few ill effects.

Sometimes, it may occur as you recognize a physical change (or worse - someone else recognizes it)! Maybe the hair line is starting to retreat. It could be a rounder middle or some grey moving into various body hairs. In fact, the entire machine itself could break down in some capacity. You realize - thru injury or complete exhaustion that you ain't the one you use to be.

All normal and acceptable acknowledgements of maturity...

My experience was far different and much more insidious.

I was finishing a nice bike ride in and about our small community...a Mayberryish tour passing businesses and thru neighborhoods. Reaching a large park where some of our future Major Leaguers were practicing the long ball, I noticed a ball over the fence and near the road. I stopped, picked up the ball and then - in the most grandpaish, AARP discount carded fashion you could ever imagine, tossed it back over the fence, underhanded.

Underhanded.

What a complete wimp. When did I start throwing underhanded? What's wrong with me? I couldn't muster up enough adult manhood to make a simple grownup baseball throw? I couldn't pull back and let one rip - even if I had to throw my arm out in the process?!

I quickly looked around to see if anyone had seen me do this. I fully expected a sit-com laugh track to play due to my slapstick impersonation of someone without an ounce of youthful athleticism left in them. I'm surprised I wasn't wearing navy blue dress socks with some all white Reebok's. Or maybe I had my hearing aid turned down so low I couldn't hear the populace ridiculing my performance. Do they sell arm Viagra?

But there I was, back on my bike, riding home, the one who thought he was still cool. Thinking he was Andy Griffith, but discovering he might be closer to Mattlock. Watch out for me on the road. I'll be the one who has had the turn signal on for the last 3 miles.

Ivan L

Ode to Heraclitus

Name change, lane change, social change, seat change,
season change, voice change, climate change, loose change,

change of pace, change of heart, change of direction, change of clothes,
change of focus, change of address, change of weather, change of nose,

diaper change, make change, accepting change, game change,
big change, little change, culture change, constant change,

change your mind, change your attitude,
change your underwear, change your life,
change your oil, change your clocks,
change your password, change your flight,

no change, slow change, you change, true change,
good change, bad change, spare change, same change.

change the dressing, change the world,
change the sheets, change the margins,
change the story, change the channel,
change the rules, change the conversation.

Ivan L

Double Digits

So, we have now reached blog number 10 and I have been informed by my personal evaluator/advice giver/constructive critic/always tells the truth/muse & partner (Wifey) that I am still searching for my blog voice.

...my "Blog Voice"...

My natural inclination was to immediately respond with a dose of sarcasm...but I held back. Mostly because I couldn't think of something drippingly bitter or cutting to say at that precise moment. Instead, I simply got defensive and pointed out that her picture blog format is so much easier than my mostly word format. I mean really?!?! Who can't take a great picture and write a witty caption and receive all kinds of gratuitous responses from adoring fans?! OK - yes, I know the answer to that...it's me. I can't.

She was correct. I am in search of my Internet voice. The appropriate proclamations that express the various and sundry thoughts, ideas, and content I wish the world to hear....that sounds like me...in my 2nd tenor.

I have dabbled in a few options and listened to choirs of other blog voices...but nothing definitive has come out yet. In my wanderings I did come across some helpful advice by those who have traveled to the mountain top before me and found their sound...

Christopher Meeks makes the following suggestions...

A voice on the Web: Strive to create a "text" voice that is as distinctive as your speaking voice.

We can't all be Hemingway: Don't try to write like someone else; find your own voice and don't try to change your demeanor.

Write like you talk: It really can be that simple.

Let your passion be your guide: Follow the urge; follow the idea.

Let me entertain you: All writing, even the most serious, is a form of entertainment. Find the words that keep your reader interested.

Your view on the world: Your specialty, your interests will color your view on the world—not to mention your writing.

Find the feeling: If you find the feeling that belongs to a piece of writing, the piece may write itself. There is no bad first draft. Let yourself go.

Good advice...I suppose...from someone who has it all figured out! Jerk.

Another experienced soloist suggests that I "Just keep practising...eventually, I'll figure it out."

And another says I'll find it when I reach the right mixture of "mind, body and spirit."

Of course, I could always result to the mindless dribble that reports every single random activity,thought or internal conflict that half of the blogging nation should have never auditioned to share!

I guess I'll keep warming up.

Ivan L

Since It's Easter...

...how about some words from the Dalai Lama

Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible.

Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one getting burned.

Compassion is not religious business, it is human business, it is not luxury, it is essential for our own peace and mental stability, it is essential for human survival.

What the World Needs Now....

...is the Campaign for Love and Forgiveness.

I can remember being in 5th grade, hanging out during the grace digestion period after lunch but before the bell would ring us back to class. It's was a typical day, kicking the dirt, smirking at girls, and making grade school small talk about my hot wheels collection or how cool it would be if the playground swings went all the way around the pole so you could just wind yourself up and around and up and around until you rocketed to another planet!!! Or something like that.

Anyway, I specifically remember kneeling down drawing in the dirt when I felt what must have been a gallon of chocolate milk pouring down my neck and back. In reality, they only gave us half-pints in the cafeteria - so, some of the volume feel must have been do to the shocking sensation of it all. I quickly jumped up and away, turned around and said, "You stupid __________!"

The guilty party was both startled and harmed by my disrespectful wordage and just stood there,staring back at me. Not in protest, not in anger to taunt, but in frozen shoes of confusion concretized by my hap-hazard remark.

Realizing I had hit the target with my slash and burn statement, I simply turned away - not knowing what to do now. With luck on my side, I was able to make a b-line for the classroom as the sweet sound of the class bell saved me from any possible consequences of my ugly utterance.

This story doesn't end with a,"and then we met 14 years later and I apologized." Or - more appropriately, 'He waited for me after class and kicked my ass!" No - it simply ends... with no resolution, no apology, nothing. I can't remember the kids name and I can't remember ever having contact with him again. But I do vividly remember to this day my response and how I wish I had the chance to say I was sorry. Especially since I realized all too quickly it was an accident.

Can you think of anything that would be more welcome to a world full of short sightedness than a heaping serving of forgiveness...a good measure of it, pressed down, shaken together and running over?!

You can change everything if you choose to love and forgive.

For as much as the worlds religions distort, cannibalize and run rough shot over their deepest possibilities and meanings...this concept of loving and forgiving is one found across the board. Each has it's own perspective and rituals to achieve such a golden rule standard. Still, it is undeniably present and a gesture we must reclaim for any hope of a co-creational future or global ethic.

No, I'm not going to divulge what word I used back then. It's left blank intentionally. You can fill in any host or sordid demonstratives. Maybe you already did? Maybe you were in 5th grade once as well and wish you could come up with a more suitable ending to one of your stories?

Well, maybe you can?

Ivan L

Less is More

This is someone you should really know. As is almost always the case, the best deals, gems, and secrets are hidden the deepest in the bins of life. Despite a brief flirt with popularity some years back, Sam has quietly and consistently done her beautifully simple, yet intricate work. Sharing her unique gifts for those willing to let go and embrace a new path.

Let those with ears hear.

Ivan L